By Dr. Randy Weyeneth
Navigator Staff and Biblical Counselor

Out of college, I joined the Marine Corps to learn practical aspects of leadership and to learn how to live the Christian life in a tough environment.

Not long after joining, in God’s magnificent sovereignty, I received military orders to Okinawa, Japan. I couldn’t wait! Visions of a new and exciting culture ran through my mind. I viewed it like a one-year overseas short term mission where I could minister in the work place to marines, and hopefully to some Japanese as well.

Within days of landing at Kadena Air Force Base, I received an in-country orientation about this small island in the Pacific that was a strategic home to all four branches of our military service. From that orientation, a sad and unfortunate reality stunned me – there were 60,000 prostitutes living just outside the gates of Kadena and the other bases nearby. Immorality was everywhere. God wasted no time in teaching me to apply leadership and living the Christ-life in a difficult environment.

I was committed to being a one woman man, but living in this challenging environment made me wish that someone would have mentored me more in this area. Yet as I walked with Jesus, He taught me and helped me stay true to Him. One marine friend in particular was also a big help as we hung out together and immersed ourselves in sports, workouts, and other fun activities while off duty.

The Lord requires spiritual leaders to be a “One Woman Man” (I Timothy 3:2), and we are all leaders in the sense of being influencers. Learning to live as a one woman man produces incredible fruit and joy as a single man, and women are instinctively drawn to that quality in you, and for good reason! It speaks volumes. In fact, women should set their standard for this type of man. Learning to live and relate as a one woman man is God’s best preparation for leading you to marriage with a wonderful wife.

For married men, living as a one woman man is a must, which also produces incredible fruit and joy as God intended. In whatever environment you are in, single or married, God will faithfully provide the grace to live purely.

A friend of mine, Navigator staff Dwight Hill, has an excellent list of principles on how to be a one woman man. I have adapted them to show how a single man can become a one woman man for the Lord.

Eyes – Appreciating beauty is fine, but do not look at a woman with lust. The oldies song, “I Only Have Eyes for You,” written by Harry Warren and Al Dublin, captures it well. For married men, we must determine to only “look” at our wives. Lustful gazes are acts of adultery. (Matthew 5:29; Job 31:1) Be quick to train yourself not to linger in your “look” because it will lead to lust. For singles, the practice of this discipline also prepares you for a God-given wife, and this discipline is still needed after you marry.

C.S. Lewis said, “If you look at ham and eggs with lust, you have already committed breakfast.”

Ears – Avoid listening to things that stimulate you sexually or stir up that desire. How easily we can be sexually stimulated by what we hear. Proverbs 5:3 cautions us, “For the lips of an adulteress drip honey, and her speech is smoother than oil.”

Lips – Learn to refuse to flatter other women. To flatter means to compliment somebody too much, often without sincerity, especially in order to gain advantage. Flattery in that sense is manipulative and self serving. A married man committed to his wife does not flatter other women: “Whoever flatters his neighbor is spreading a net for his feet.” (Proverbs 29:5). Complimenting is fine, but flattery is a trap. For a single man, learning to refuse to flatter honors God, honors your women friends, and also prepares you for a great marriage.

Hands – Other than your wife, do not touch a woman inappropriately. Inappropriately means in a way that evokes sexually or sensually or communicates unwarranted affection. Paul admonishes us to “Treat…younger women as sisters, with absolute purity.” (I Timothy 5:2). The manner in which we relate physically to our sisters in Christ should serve as a guideline in our association with women. It also prepares you for treating your future wife with the utmost respect.

Feet – Run from any sexual temptation. Be smart and do not “play with such fire” by lingering near whatever tempts you sexually. And whenever such temptation comes unexpectedly, determine now to flee. We can easily identify with the statement, “I can resist anything but temptation.” Perhaps that’s why Scripture warns us to “Flee youthful lusts…” (II Timothy 2:22a)

David stood and kept looking at naked Bathsheba and ended up committing adultery and murder. By contrast, Joseph fled Potiphar’s seductive wife and remained pure. (II Samuel 11; Genesis 39)

Mind – Fill your mind with God’s Word to re-orient your thought patterns and push away lust. Sexual sin always begins in the mind first, so whatever we feed our minds on is critical. Only by the renewing of your mind can you expect to live a pure life: “Let God re-mold your minds from within, so that you may prove in practice that the plan of God for you is good…” (Romans 12:2b – Phillips Translation). God’s Word is central to the renewal process.

In your life, are you allowing anything into your mind that is making the renewal process unnecessarily difficult?

Heart – Especially when married, watch and guard your emotional level of involvement with another woman. That is because emotional involvement—which is involvement of the heart—with a woman who is not your wife, is often an early step in the process that culminates in the act of adultery. Whether married or single, too much emotional involvement can subtlety ensnare if we are not careful. Wise Solomon cautioned us, “Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life.” (Proverbs 4:23). In King James it reads, “Keep thy heart with all diligence…”

As you think about these areas and choices of the mind and heart, does your present attitude and pattern of behavior indicate a deep resolve to become a one woman man? What may need a fresh dedication to God?

Dedication Date

• Eyes -
• Ears -
• Lips -
• Hands -
• Feet -
• Mind -
• Heart -

Total dedication to be a One Woman Man for the glory of God is the best preparation for marriage, and the only way to live while married as well. With God’s help, as you and I apply these principles, we can live honorably as a one woman man and reap the incredible joy and good that God intends. Praise God for His wondrous grace!